My life on an unexpected path

I hope people say I am thoughtful and kind, always trying to make everyone feel comfortable.

We have lots of first days of school. If you started in kindergarten and graduated high school, you’d have 13 first days. If you were lucky enough to stay in the same school district then those first days gave you butterflies. If like me you moved a lot and changed schools then you didn’t get butterflies, you got bats.

Butterflies, to me, express excitement tinged with a little nervousness. Bats however are nothing but fear.

When we moved from Oklahoma to Minnesota it was in the middle of fourth grade. Completely unaware of having a southern accent, I was shocked and humiliated when the class made fun of the way I spoke. The teacher even joined in. (Bullying was considered normal childhood behavior). The staff wanted to send my sister to speech therapy!!

This affected me a lot and is probably the reason going anywhere I have not been before brings me back to bats in the tummy.

After that experience, I quickly lost my southern accent. To this day, even after 40 years in Texas, I refuse to use ya’ll. I monitor my speech and when I hear something I’ve said that sounds southern, I quickly correct myself.

Firsts are scary and can alter us for a lifetime.

Not lions, tigers or bears but where I live: I see deer, armadillos, raccoons, opossums, buzzards, hawks and many other birds. Also there are countless lizards which the cats love to bring in the house half alive and squirrels which I prefer to see outdoors rather than dead on the kitchen floor!!

I have always thought if I could live anywhere I wanted, I’d choose France. I’ve had a love affair with France since I was 11. However lately, I have begun to change my mind.

When I was 9 we moved from Oklahoma to Minnesota. It was a move in the US. Should be the same culturally right? What I shock to learn they sounded different, liked different food and would be asked my ethnic background. All my mother said, Well we are Heinz 57, a little bit of everything.

Then at age 11.5 we moved to Colorado. Now that would be more like Minnesota. It got snow. It was cold. Imagine my surprise when everyone wanted to know what my favorite winter sport was? I didn’t ski and snowboarding hadn’t been invented yet. By high school I became fully aware of the “uniform”. I wore Levi jeans, hiking boots and a sweater.

Then halfway through 9th grade we moved to Las Vegas. Yes that Las Vegas. Completely different climate, interests and clothing. Again I had a period of adjustment.

Two more moves came and I’ve been in Texas since 1985. I still haven’t become fully Texan. I don’t like the Cowboys. I don’t drink sweet tea or go to rodeos or wear big hair and lots of jewelry. And most importantly I do not say ya’ll.

But I learned I can adjust and feel at home anywhere. I’ve been in this current city for the past 9 years. And to be honest it doesn’t feel like home. I have no family here and I realized home is where those whom I love are.

With my children on opposite coastlines, I’m frozen. I’ve been unable to decide what to do. Stay? Move? Where to? Travel? I can’t even make a decision on when to retire.

So I don’t know where I’d live if I had the option to move.

Hmm, good question. I’d like to say my alarm but work prevents that during the week. And my cats prevent me sleeping in on the weekend.

I pay someone to do yard work but if I didn’t I would skip it.

I live by routine. I feel out of sorts if I don’t have a schedule, but after much thought it would be taking out the garbage and recycle to the curb. Since I live alone, that’s an easy one to skip. I only generate enough trash and recycle for once a month.

I vote for Lost in a Book Holiday. Why? It is a wonderful way to explore other lives, other places, other people,. You can learn how to do new things or better skills you already have. It’s a way to spend time with friends and family with little prep work.

Here is how you celebrate:

1. Every family member or friend picks a book or books
2. Gather snacks and beverages
3. Turn off all phones, TVs, computers and gaming devices
4. Create comfy spaces to read
5. Decide on designated break times and rotating schedules to read to non-readers.
6. Read, read, read
7. Share about your book with your family and friends.

Any date works, a hot summer day, a cold winter day, a rainy day or just a I don’t know what to do day.

If you had $1440 deposited into a bank account every single day but you could not roll it over to the next day what would you do?

Would you Share it? Spend it? I’m positive you wouldn’t just leave it unused. Because to not use it, would be to waste it.

We get 1440 minutes every day, 10,080 minutes every week, 43,830 a month and 525,600 minutes in every standard year. It is not refundable. Unlike a purchase which can be returned and get your money refunded, once time is spent you never get it back.

When you’re younger this seems so unimportant because there is so much time going forward available. You’ll get to it one day. Then one day you wake up and there are more minutes behind you than in front of you. And you realize you wasted so much time.

So I wish everyone knew not to waste time. This doesn’t mean being busy every available moment. It means to cherish every minute whether you are busy or just soaking up the sun or spending time with loved ones.

I get to see this up close. As a caregiver for three young children over the past 9 years, their joy explodes daily.

They don’t judge. They just enjoy. Every new discovery is treated as though it’s the first time anyone has ever discovered it. Seeing a hummingbird brings jumps of joy and awe.

Seeing new art forms brings inspiration. Watching fun skills like a master chocolatier brings a desire to be one.

I learned to make up and tell stories at the prompting of the kids. Tell us a story Mimi. I had to see the world through their eyes and reignite my own imagination.

As adults we just forget to play, to be open to new things and see the world with a sense of awe. Our focus is on work, responsibilities, money, bills and acquiring stuff etc. Make time to stop. Stop and be quiet. Listen to the sounds around you. Look at the miracles taking place right before your eyes. That is being a child at heart.